What’s the best way to celebrate your engagement?
Out of nowhere, come down with the worst cold you think you’ve ever had in your life, then spend the next eleventy billion days coughing like crazy until your throat is raw and you don’t even want to think about food, much less eat it (unless it’s the chicken soup from Bruegger’s that you’ve been craving, and even then it hurts to swallow the salty broth, but it’s so worth it).
Before you know it, you’ll be several pounds lighter and you can check wedding
starvation plan diet off of your miles-long to-do list.
Unless you gain all that weight back by waking up at 4am and eating the panna cotta gelato that’s living in your freezer to soothe your poor throat.
Come to think of it, gelato’s not a bad way to celebrate, but this isn’t the way I would have gone about it, if I’d had a choice.
(Before someone gets all bent out of shape, I feel I should note that I don’t actually have a wedding diet on my to-do list. Inevitable bridal meltdown, yes. Diet, no.)